As a guy who really used to struggle with women, dating and self-esteem, I’ve taken a step back from inundating myself with a lot of the information floating around in the ‘men’s’ side of the internet, which includes terms you’ve probably heard before –
and, most interestingly, ‘women’s nature’.
No one in their right mind will argue that men and women are completely equal. We’re not.
However, I really wanted to clear the air…
Lots of guys talk about ‘female nature’, and then attach a whole bunch of labels and attributes that they think apply to every single woman on earth.
- she’s not yours, it’s just your turn
- women are hypergamous and will leave you as soon as she perceives weakness in you and is always looking for a better man
- women aren’t loyal
- women never mean what they say
- don’t go out with professional women, because all they care about is their careers
- and so on…
After really digging deep and even talking to a bunch of guys about these observations, I’ve come to a different conclusion…
There’s no such thing as men’s or women’s nature. There’s only the nature of the individual in question.
Why do I say this?
Look, it’s no secret that one of men’s favorite topics of discussion is women.
Sleeping with women
What women are like around the world
How women have treated you
How you’ve treated women
After a while, though, I started noticing some startling patterns…
And it wasn’t until I stumbled upon this tiny gem of a YouTube channel, that the mental fog began to clear, and I was finally able to understand some truths about how men are relating to women nowadays…
A man who brags about having women in his life, whether it’s through pictures on social media, or boasting about it to his buddies, is a weak man.
Nobody cares about your sex life as much as you.
That’s not a cope – it’s the truth. It’s ego. It’s the desire to show off how ‘valuable’ you are to others, because you supposedly have a woman, or a bunch of women, in your life.
Back to women’s nature –
Guys who are supposedly ‘experienced’ with women will generalize and speak ill of women – either because they know it’s polarizing and will win them attention from the very kinds of people they want to sell products and ‘coaching’ to…
Or, because they genuinely believe what they’re saying, and are sharing their experiences for the purpose of ‘educating’ younger guys so that they don’t make the same mistakes they did.
I’m not denying that some women are capable of doing horrible, horrible things.
I’m not denying that there are some diabolical, vain, brain-dead, stuck up women out there.
But be warned – don’t listen to guys who’ll paint a black and white picture of how things work with women. Chances are, they’ve had those experiences because of the types of women they’ve attracted, and the types of people they are.
If you’re a scumbag – if you constantly have a burning impulse to ‘dominate’ other people and treat everything like it’s a competition, then you’re inevitably going to attract women who are similar in that regard.
I’m aware that in certain scenarios, men will argue that they were completely innocent, and that they were done wrong by a woman without any provocation. In fact, a lot of them will claim that they ‘did everything for her, but it still wasn’t enough’.
Again, I acknowledge that in some cases, this is true.
But, in many others, the guy is conveniently brushing over some key details about his relationship that were huge factors in things going south, and eventually breaking apart.
Women do approach men they’re interested in. Just because you’ve never been approached by an attractive girl, or if it’s seldom ever happened, doesn’t mean it’s an impossibility.
Women can become obsessed with you quickly, to the point that they’d give their life for you.
Dudes will often castigate women, claiming that they’re disloyal – that they don’t love ‘you’, but rather, they’re in love with your current situation (making good money, nice home, car, exciting lifestyle). Again, just because this turned out to be the case for you, doesn’t mean it’s like this for other guys.
I’ve had plenty of women in my life be loyal to me for years – and up until recently, I was poor. I could barely afford to take a girl out to a nice restaurant for a meal here and there… and yet, girls would often offer to pay. They’d give me little presents here and there, like chocolates or even LEGO, which we’d build together.
Crazy thing is, I wasn’t some hot shot businessman, entertainer, or male model. Granted, I’ve always taken care of myself by hitting the gym and having a semi-clean. Plus, at the time, I had a steady income that didn’t require too much of my time.
I also hear dudes insult women, claiming that they’re dumb and lazy. Again – is it true that all women are dumb and lazy? No. They’re probably saying this because these are the kinds of women they’ve encountered and brought into their lives. It’s also possible that they say this, because by belittling the intelligence and work ethic of women, these guys can feel better about themselves.
What’s the ultimate point of this whole article?
The point, is that you can’t believe everything you read or hear, especially when it comes to a part of our lives that’s so absolutely crucial to our well-being and healthy development as people.
Use your brain. Think. Don’t just start regurgitating the talking points of other men, just because they seem influential, or like they have it all going on, and especially if you’ve never actually interacted with them.
This is a huge mistake I made – and I really, REALLY don’t want to keep seeing other dudes blindly walking into this trap.
Truth is, lots of these guys spouting this kind of rhetoric online are conmen. They’re out to get you. You’re nothing to them – just another source of money and influence. Just another dollar sign floating around in cyberspace.
They’re well aware that both men and women all over are hurting. Both of us are being force fed messages designed to elicit emotions of dissatisfaction with ourselves – messages that shine a pale but enticing light of hope on their lifestyle and philosophy, with the promise that if you follow what they say, and do as they do, you’ll get what they have.
It’s the oldest trick in the book… and it still continues to work.